Checklists and Balances

As you dive head first into planning your wedding, no matter how many professionals you hire, you realize just how precious your time can really be. It is an enlightening concept that can easily become muddled: knowing time is what you make it while constantly trying to be on top of all the things that need to get done. Where is the balance? Do these things really need to get done? Well, yes. Yes they do. Bills won’t pay themselves, and a wedding certainly will not plan itself either. Our bodies need food and water. Our brains need stimulation. Our checklists need checking off, and luckily some of us love finishing a checklist.

We can very easily lose sight of needs vs wants with all the things that can fill our time. Sure that checklist needs to be done, but I also want it to be done. Do I want to go to work? Not always. But bills need to be paid. Do I want to plan a wedding knowing the budget may not match the dream? Is a destination wedding ideal even if some friends and family won’t be able to make it? Shoot, should we just go to the courthouse and have dinner after??

Balancing those needs and wants becomes a whole new act with a partner by your side. Sometimes we make compromises in the present knowing the future outcome will be worth it. Sometimes we don’t have to compromise at all, knowing that the person who fits perfectly in our arms is equally invested in making the most of your time together. Regardless of your course, your journey of love deserves to be recognized and celebrated - not just on your wedding day, but every day.

Now, about that checklist. There is so much to do and only so many hours in a day, week, month, however near or far that deadline sits. Maybe it’s in your phone for easy access or hanging on the fridge as a reminder. Phone calls, appointments, scheduling, oh my! So much to do with such precious time.

I have a question for you that I often ask myself: are you part of this checklist? Are you nourishing yourself as a human, outside of your superhero ability to be the ultimate checklister? How much of your precious time is being invested in your precious self? I ask because the goal should not be to compare our checklists of needs and wants, but to balance them.

I often look at a checklist feeling empowered. I can do it all, and then some! And, more importantly, I am capable of so much more than what is required for that list. I can do so much more than what is inspired from any list (no matter how much I love a list, in case you couldn’t tell).

I have a growing list of affordable date night ideas with my partner, all things that inspire and challenge us to try new things and invest in our time together (with a few silly just-for-fun things sprinkled in, of course). Admittedly that list has been growing for a while, though there is plenty of fun in just adding to it, because we tend to lean toward default date nights. We have our favorite restaurants and cocktail bars, museums, antique stores, and documentaries that we enjoy together.

So although we delightfully throw in new ideas all the time, rarely do we commit to something new. No matter the default or break from the norm, that time is spent investing in our relationship. Same time every week. We love trying new things, and we also love a routine. So our shared goal has become to invest in our time together, balancing the familiar routine with trying new things outside of our comfort zone.

Luckily, a routine is a routine. Creature of habit here. My favorite restaurants are my favorite restaurants because I always order my favorite dish. My favorite antique stores are my favorite antique stores because everything is both unique and affordable. I set a personal, minimal budget for every date night. Same time every week.

In the spirit of vulnerability for the sake of growth, my biggest hangup really is my budget. My partner is so gracious and willing to pay for everything, but part of my personal long-term checklist (yes, I even organize lists) is to invest both my time and money in our relationship. He’s my partner in life after all, and he deserves the best! So I am committed to not only the same time every week, but a shared growth as well. The beauty of this end goal is that it has no end - only a consistent return on investment.

As you invest in your shared dream wedding, I hope you prioritize yourselves along the way. A wedding certainly is not an end goal either, but a beautiful beginning of the rest of your lives together. And if you’re like me, if you’re working with a budget and ready to increase the investment in your relationship, Dance Dates is a wonderful place to start. These lessons are something new and exciting to try together that will easily lend itself to a routine as you can stream them again and again. An accessible balance of needs and wants.

See, this is why I love a checklist. Breaking away from routine is difficult. Building a new one is a lot more fun. And the greatest investment we can make is in ourselves, and each other.

With Love,

Caia